Don't Blink

I have not written in so long...

I have tears in my eyes... not because of what I have to say or because... I am scared to write... A little over 4 years ago I had my entire life on paper, digital paper anyways. And then... we were robbed. My computer my poems, my novel, my blog, my life... MY SOUL. He took my soul. I just sat down to tell you the most amazing story that I have ever had to tell, and the moment I touched the keyboard I started sobbing...

As I breath, each breath I take...

I haven't written anything short of a FB post in over 4 years... And in this moment, this very moment that I sit here the pain, the passion, the power of words and thought and belief. I will fear no evil... I will open my heart, and let GOD heal my soul, I will declare that GOD IS ENOUGH. My life is over flowing with a story...

 It's not my story. It's God's story.

It's a story that is playing itself out in my life this very second... as God guides my thoughts, as he guides my fingers, as the tears subside and I realize that this keyboard is nothing to fear... that GOD wants me to tell this story... that I need to tell this story...

DON'T BLINK, God is about to do something amazing and I don't want you to miss it.


I could start this story so many places, but if I did I would be writing for hours, or even days. I guess it's all one story, and a lot of little stories all combined in one... but this story, this story starts about 6 weeks ago.

Well let's start a little farther back...  20 years ago (1996) I was just finishing my degree in Industrial Technology from Abilene Christian University.  While working on my degree, I had decided to take Sign Language as my Foreign Language Credit (yes, this is a thing).  As I approached the end of my course work one of my instructors gave me the opportunity to go to the over seas to teach Industrial Technology in a school for the deaf.  It was an amazing opportunity, but as my wife and I discussed it, we decided not to go.  I still believe that we made the decision we needed to make. However, I have always regretted not going..

Fast forward 2016,  as a Christian I believe that everyone is called to give.  I think that there are many other callings (teaching, serving, mission work, etc.) but everyone is called to give.  I also believe that we can give in many ways; time, effort and for many financially.  When I was younger I gave freely... joyfully... selflessly... but now that I have a family, a mortgage, stuff... I have struggled to give.  At times I have felt that I have nothing to give, at others I have found it in my heart to give God what was left over (how noble of me), other time I have desperately scraped together everything I can to give God everything I had. I would donate my time, my service, my skills... but I didn't give these freely, I gave them out of resentment...  I gave them blaming God that the only reason that I was giving these, is because he refused to give me money to give...

The ARGUMENT - How can I give God my "first fruits" if I have already given them away?  God wants me to honor my debts, right?  And he wants me to provide for my family right? And all these other things that I have committed to... God wants me to honor those, he say, "Let your yes be your yes, and Give unto Caesar,"  right?  This is what God wants us to do????  Wrong!  GOD wants to honor your debts, GOD wants to provide for my family...


Thou shall have no other god's before me... a servant CANNOT serve two masters...

I kept telling God that if he would give me more... then I could give... WRONG, WRONG, WRONG...

Sooo... the story...

Earlier this year I started giving to Church... every week... 20$ right on schedule... except when I didn't have it, or when I forgot... or when we skipped Church, but other than that...

About 6 weeks ago, something in my life changed... something broke, or healed... Remember that call to go serve in a foreign country... oh yeah, that...  Something made me remember, remember who I used to be... that guy that gave even when there was nothing left to give... he gave...  We had a Sunday that 3 men stood up and told us about the missions that they were involved in.  It wasn't really an invitation to go, they weren't asking for money, they weren't looking for partners... they were merely sharing their lives with us... One of them was our minister Deron Smith, and Deron shared his passion for Africa.  And something clicked... After service I found Deron and told him I wanted to go... no real clue what, or why, or when... but I had to go... God was telling me to go..

But that's not the story... as I sit here writing... writing for the first time... typing, my fingers flowing, I want to share everything...  I need to keep writing... and I have the rest of my life to keep writing...

The point... Don't Blink...

Four weeks ago, I decided to get the old me back... and the shortened version looks like this... My wife and I took our kids to buy Christmas presents for children that weren't going to otherwise have a Christmas.  We spent money we didn't have... But I knew that God would take care of it... It was the most amazing time with my wife and children to shop and give, to make somebody's life different...  A few days later we received a Christmas bonus that we weren't expecting... a sizable bonus.  Our first reaction was that God was rewarding us for our giving and now we could pay some debts, that have been looming over us.  My second reaction was maybe this was an opportunity to give more.  I had showed God I was willing to give even when I felt like my cup was empty... Could I show God that I was willing to give when my cup was full... So we gave.  I won't claim we gave it all... we paid some debts, we set some things right in our budget, but we gave... and we gave first... I was proud of myself... spent a day or two patting myself on the back... because I am so amazing right? And then... then I got fired... but the weird part... It was, actually it is, ok... because now I get to show God that I can give when I have nothing...

The words that have come across this keyboard, are not the words I sat down to type... I'm reading back over them...

I am overflowing... you see, as much as I want to tell my story... God keeps reminding me its NOT my story...

6 weeks ago, the Spirit of God spoke to my soul... the message...

GOD IS ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING AMAZING!!!

And that's what God is pressing me to put right here... right here, in this spot, on this page, for you... whomever you are that is reading this right now, because he brought you here, to read these words, at this very moment, because he wants you to know... He is about to do something amazing...

I guess... The story is for another blog, another day...

DON'T BLINK, DON'T LOOK AWAY...BECAUSE I DON'T WANT YOU TO MISS IT!!!