The interesting thing about this creature I have become... I am an impulsive spontaneous, compulsive creature of habit... I will drive the same way to work every day for six months, until one day I don't. FOr no reason whatsoever, I wake up get ready and go a completely different way and that is my new way to do it every day.
I like to organize the books on my bookshelves, typically by topic... until I can't find one and then I have to reorganize the whole system until they are by author... until I come in one day and finfd them visually dstracting and I reorganize the entire set by size and shape...
I like my routine, I want to do the same thing everyday. It makes me feel safe and comfortable, until I decide that I want to do something different.
I often find mysself in a struggle between the two people that inhabit this body... Some days he wins even when I am on my medication, some days I win even when I am off my medication... Some days we work together and compromise... I know that there are not two me's... and yet I can clearly see both of us.. I can tell youwhich descisions were made by which personality... And I can usually tell you whcih one is winning on any given day...
I am not insane, but I often wonder if that is only a matter of time. How long can two indivduals live in the same body before something gives out?
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