The Ring

I have to add this - I was inspired by another... Maybe, if enough people read this and pray my ring will return.

I was not happy in high school, I was bored and unsettled. So I dropped out of High School and went to college early. As a graduation present (drop out present) my parents bought me a class ring (my dad designed it). It was a smaller design, I have small hands (for a guy). It was a thin gold band that thicked on the top and leveled off with a flat top. Set in the top in the shape of a rectangle was a narrow band of Bloodstone. In the center was a small diamond.

The gold ring represented family, life, love, me... those things that keep going on. The bloodstone (a dark green stone with swirls of red through it) represented the sin and impurity in life. And the diamond represented the PURITY and STRENGTH of Chirst.

Once I got married, I often wore it in place of my wedding band.

Over the years my ADD has plauged me with missplacing things that are very dear to me, but somehow this ring has (had) always been there. I've missplaced it several times. At one point just after we were married I misplaced the ring for close to a year. After a particularly difficult couple of days I prayed that God would provide me with some assurance that he was in fact still there. A few days later we were visiting my parents house and as I walked through the basement I rolled a pool ball across the table and as it fell into the pocket I heard a clink. Going over to check out the clink I found my ring in the bottom of the pocket. This is not the only time this ring has reappeared by what could only be described as a miracle.

Sadly, about five years ago we were at the fair. I took off my ring and placed it in my pocket so that I could climb the repelling wall. When we reached the car about 45 min later, my ring was no longer in my pocket. On several occasions I have gone out and wandered the fair grounds, hoping that a rain storm might uncover it... and I still sometimes call out and ask if anyone has turned it in... Who knows. I believe that it is within Gods power.

Maybe some day I can replace it, or who knows maybe it will come home.

Lost with in

I love to write poetry, several years ago I wrote two poems... One titled "lost within" and the other titled "If I only knew"... who'd of thought that so many years later I would come full cirlce and find myself writing the same poems over again.

I started two different poems over the last couple of days and life hasn't allowed me the creativity to finish them. Stress seems to stiffle creativity, for me at least. If I get the poems finished I will post them.

On that note though, seeing as how I haven't posted in a while I thought I would write a note about what the poems center around. The truth is I'm not happy, I don't mean that in an "I'm Depressed" kind of fashion... I mean like most people i have happy days and I have sad days. For the most part I am a feeler, my life revolves around dreams, and feelings... its about a deeper desire, emotions that I attatch to everyday things. I know people that want to experience life, I know people that want to live their life, I know people that want to ignore their life...

I WANT TO FEEL MY LIFE!

both poems have the same general idea... what do you see when you look at me? Do you see my effort, my successes and failures. Do you see the stress and the fear. DO you see my doubts in my self as a father and a husband? Do you see a realist, a dreamer, a cynic. Do you see my struggles to pay my bills.

Do you see the artist, the lover, the poet. The dreams that lie deep inside me. DO you see the joy that I get from seeing my father play with my kids. Do youe see my passion for Christ and for God. Does anyone really see me, the me that was there before the stress, before the failures, before the loss?

It is by the same process that we can polish a stone to a perfect finish that we can wear it away down to nothing.

I miss "ME".

Missing:
6'0, Brown Hair, Brown Eyes, full of love and compassion, last seen dreaming. May be in the possesion of poetry, music, art supplies, and a bible. Last seen wearing jeans, looney toons t-shirt and cowboy boots.

If you have seen this person please let me know.

Been a while

When I started this thing I wasn't sure how often I was going to post. The truth is that I have attentention deficiet dissorder and I am not the most organized of people. I would like to think that I have worthy thoughts on a regular basis. But honestly I have been so busy lately that what thoughts I have had have very quickly been trampled over by the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

Maybe with a little time I will develope a regular time to sit down and solitify my thoughts.

Until later...

May your dreams come true, your nightmares fade away, and may you find tomorrow what you've lost today.