I want to tell you a story...

What's your story?

What story is God telling through you?

Are you telling the story, or is God........?


There are several stories in the bible that are very similar.  We often use them to draw comparisons and make meaning of our own lives... And then there are some stories in the bible that stand out.  They just seem out of place, or seem to have a meaning all to themselves.  The story of Jonah is one of these.

The story of Jonah has always been one of my favorites... you see... I am Jonah, but I will come back to that in a moment.  The story of Jonah has always seemed to me to be unique.  In all of the bible stories, it just didn't seem to be like any other story. I've heard many people argue about if its real, or just a parable; is it just an elaborate story, to scare us into following God, is it a metaphor that paints a picture that is too elaborate to be real?  Does it matter?  For the record, I believe that this story is real, I believe that Jonah spent three days inside of a giant fish, I believe that Jonah defied God and spoke to God with contempt in his voice.  I also believe, the story of Jonah can be an amazing metaphor... a story that looks just like the life I have chosen to live...

News flash... there is another story in the bible that begins just like the story of Jonah... intrigued?

Lets start with Jonah, well actually, lets start with me...  For years I have spoken of the story of Jonah with pride.  I tell people on a regular basis that the story of Jonah is my story.  I've taught classes at church looking at the story of Jonah, and I've told them of my nights that I have spent in the belly f the whale, as if God had placed me in there and I was sorry for not going his way, for not telling His story.  The truth is, I'm more like Jonah than I realized.

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Jonah Flees From the Lord

1 The word of the Lord came to Jonah son of Amittai: ² “Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me.”

³ But Jonah ran away from the Lord and headed for Tarshish. He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the Lord.

**

 I can't tell you how many times that God has sent me...  from simple little tasks of asking me to volunteer, to just asking me to leave my comfort zone and minister to someone who smells, or looks dirty.  Other times he has called me to greater things: trips, ministries, professional callings... And I have looked God in the face with a look of, "seriously, you have got to be kidding."  I have defiantly turned and walked the other direction. Just like Jonah, I have found myself in the belly of the whale. I have spent more nights in the belly of the whale than I have preaching the word.  In the past, when I would tell the story, I would tell it with remorse... I would tell people that, "I am stuck in the belly of the whale, waiting on God to save me."  A LIE.  A lie to myself, a lie to those around me, a lie to God... You see, I am just like Jonah... defiant.  I chose the belly of the whale.  Like a child throwing a tantrum I could sit in my misery and tell God, "I'll show you.  I will sit here in this chaos, and you can't make me."  It was my will, not his.  Eventually like our hero, I would pray for help, I would beg for forgiveness and God would deliver me...

Have you ever imagined what it looked like when Jonah got to Nineveh?  I really can't imagine that he ran up and down the streets, praising God with joy and glad tidings.  I imagine this scene from a Monty Python movie of a man in rags, head down, dragging his feet... muttering under his breath, "praise God, repent and be saved."  It was God that saved Nineveh, not Jonah... and then Jonah went up on a hill and pouted... I TOLD YOU SO... that was his attitude towards God. Jonah had the nerve to look at God and say... I knew what you were going to do, I didn't want to do it, you made me do it, and I knew this was going to happen...  GOD JUST SAVED AN ENTIRE CITY! and Jonah is blaming God because its not what Jonah wanted...

This is the story I have chosen to live...Its not the story that God is telling, its the story that I am acting out... I am the director, producer and main character, God is just an actor that I have allowed into my drama...  Am I really that arrogant? I didn't even write my own story, I stole one of God's and claimed it as my own... What would my life look like if I allowed God to tell my story... no, that's not right either... what would my life look like if I allowed God to tell HIS story...

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The Calling of Abraham
Genesis 12:1 
1Now the LORD said to Abram, "Go forth from your country, And from your relatives And from your father's house, To the land which I will show you; 2And I will make you a great nation, And I will bless you, And make your name great; And so you shall be a blessing;…

Hebrews 11:8
By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.

**

Two men called by God.  One, looked for a better path, chose his will over God's; the other, went home packed all his belongings, gathered his family and went...

What story is God telling in your life?


 

Don't Blink

I have not written in so long...

I have tears in my eyes... not because of what I have to say or because... I am scared to write... A little over 4 years ago I had my entire life on paper, digital paper anyways. And then... we were robbed. My computer my poems, my novel, my blog, my life... MY SOUL. He took my soul. I just sat down to tell you the most amazing story that I have ever had to tell, and the moment I touched the keyboard I started sobbing...

As I breath, each breath I take...

I haven't written anything short of a FB post in over 4 years... And in this moment, this very moment that I sit here the pain, the passion, the power of words and thought and belief. I will fear no evil... I will open my heart, and let GOD heal my soul, I will declare that GOD IS ENOUGH. My life is over flowing with a story...

 It's not my story. It's God's story.

It's a story that is playing itself out in my life this very second... as God guides my thoughts, as he guides my fingers, as the tears subside and I realize that this keyboard is nothing to fear... that GOD wants me to tell this story... that I need to tell this story...

DON'T BLINK, God is about to do something amazing and I don't want you to miss it.


I could start this story so many places, but if I did I would be writing for hours, or even days. I guess it's all one story, and a lot of little stories all combined in one... but this story, this story starts about 6 weeks ago.

Well let's start a little farther back...  20 years ago (1996) I was just finishing my degree in Industrial Technology from Abilene Christian University.  While working on my degree, I had decided to take Sign Language as my Foreign Language Credit (yes, this is a thing).  As I approached the end of my course work one of my instructors gave me the opportunity to go to the over seas to teach Industrial Technology in a school for the deaf.  It was an amazing opportunity, but as my wife and I discussed it, we decided not to go.  I still believe that we made the decision we needed to make. However, I have always regretted not going..

Fast forward 2016,  as a Christian I believe that everyone is called to give.  I think that there are many other callings (teaching, serving, mission work, etc.) but everyone is called to give.  I also believe that we can give in many ways; time, effort and for many financially.  When I was younger I gave freely... joyfully... selflessly... but now that I have a family, a mortgage, stuff... I have struggled to give.  At times I have felt that I have nothing to give, at others I have found it in my heart to give God what was left over (how noble of me), other time I have desperately scraped together everything I can to give God everything I had. I would donate my time, my service, my skills... but I didn't give these freely, I gave them out of resentment...  I gave them blaming God that the only reason that I was giving these, is because he refused to give me money to give...

The ARGUMENT - How can I give God my "first fruits" if I have already given them away?  God wants me to honor my debts, right?  And he wants me to provide for my family right? And all these other things that I have committed to... God wants me to honor those, he say, "Let your yes be your yes, and Give unto Caesar,"  right?  This is what God wants us to do????  Wrong!  GOD wants to honor your debts, GOD wants to provide for my family...


Thou shall have no other god's before me... a servant CANNOT serve two masters...

I kept telling God that if he would give me more... then I could give... WRONG, WRONG, WRONG...

Sooo... the story...

Earlier this year I started giving to Church... every week... 20$ right on schedule... except when I didn't have it, or when I forgot... or when we skipped Church, but other than that...

About 6 weeks ago, something in my life changed... something broke, or healed... Remember that call to go serve in a foreign country... oh yeah, that...  Something made me remember, remember who I used to be... that guy that gave even when there was nothing left to give... he gave...  We had a Sunday that 3 men stood up and told us about the missions that they were involved in.  It wasn't really an invitation to go, they weren't asking for money, they weren't looking for partners... they were merely sharing their lives with us... One of them was our minister Deron Smith, and Deron shared his passion for Africa.  And something clicked... After service I found Deron and told him I wanted to go... no real clue what, or why, or when... but I had to go... God was telling me to go..

But that's not the story... as I sit here writing... writing for the first time... typing, my fingers flowing, I want to share everything...  I need to keep writing... and I have the rest of my life to keep writing...

The point... Don't Blink...

Four weeks ago, I decided to get the old me back... and the shortened version looks like this... My wife and I took our kids to buy Christmas presents for children that weren't going to otherwise have a Christmas.  We spent money we didn't have... But I knew that God would take care of it... It was the most amazing time with my wife and children to shop and give, to make somebody's life different...  A few days later we received a Christmas bonus that we weren't expecting... a sizable bonus.  Our first reaction was that God was rewarding us for our giving and now we could pay some debts, that have been looming over us.  My second reaction was maybe this was an opportunity to give more.  I had showed God I was willing to give even when I felt like my cup was empty... Could I show God that I was willing to give when my cup was full... So we gave.  I won't claim we gave it all... we paid some debts, we set some things right in our budget, but we gave... and we gave first... I was proud of myself... spent a day or two patting myself on the back... because I am so amazing right? And then... then I got fired... but the weird part... It was, actually it is, ok... because now I get to show God that I can give when I have nothing...

The words that have come across this keyboard, are not the words I sat down to type... I'm reading back over them...

I am overflowing... you see, as much as I want to tell my story... God keeps reminding me its NOT my story...

6 weeks ago, the Spirit of God spoke to my soul... the message...

GOD IS ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING AMAZING!!!

And that's what God is pressing me to put right here... right here, in this spot, on this page, for you... whomever you are that is reading this right now, because he brought you here, to read these words, at this very moment, because he wants you to know... He is about to do something amazing...

I guess... The story is for another blog, another day...

DON'T BLINK, DON'T LOOK AWAY...BECAUSE I DON'T WANT YOU TO MISS IT!!!  

Video Game answers to life

I have recently started playing the video game League of Legends. For the purpose of this blog the overall nature and purpose of the game are unimportant. But the basics of the game are like a good ole' fashioned game of capture the flag. Teams consist of 5 players, each of whom select a champion to control on the map. As the game begins it is standard for your team to split up and take a portion of the map. The other team will typically use the same concept to devide up their team. As a result, in early game you typically in up in a lot of 1 on 1 play... Here in lies my most recent epiphany about life, religion and sin... Over the last several months I have been involved in several discussion about pornography, alcohol and drugs. And the beliefs of those around me sometimes make me nervous to say the least. But it would seem that in the minds of many of our youth, that a little of anything is okay, as long as I keep it under control. MY EPIPHANY: As you begin playing League all of the players on both teams start with similar health and similar weapons. As you gain experience and gold you can buy better armor and weapons to improve your champion. In early game you often spend a lot of time "poking the bear". You will run in and hit the other champion and run away. Bit by bit your health will dwindle and you either have to retreat or you end up dead... and so it begins. Each time you die or retreat the otehr champion keeps getting stronger. Infact, LoL players have a term called FEEDING. If you kill another champion in the game you are rewarded with bonus experience and gold. This allows you to level up and buy better weapons earlier in the game. Feeding is where you continue to die to same champion on the other team over and over again. Each time he gets stronger and you remain the same, making the next battle even harder. Eventually you create a monster that is all but unstopable. C CAN YOU SEE WHERE I AM GOING WITH THIS? When we sin, look at porn, take a drink, smoke a joint... we start FEEDING the demon. Each time the demon gets a little stronger and we get a little weaker. Each time we come back the demon does a little more damage a little faster. It doesn't take long for us to create an unstopable monster. In many cases then results in addiction and starts to impact those around us. In game you have one of two solutions. Solution one, avoid the demon at all cost. This does two things: it stops feeding the demon and it gives you time to build your armor and recover your health. The second option is to attack the demon as a team. I think both of these still apply when we talk about sin. When it comes to addiction and sin, the more we can avoid an activity the weaker the demon becomes, and when we surround ourselves with Christian brothers we can stand and fight the demon together. I could go on and on about this, but I think you might quit reading so I'm going to leave it there. FAILURE IS EXPECTED, IT'S WHAT YOU DO NEXT THAT DETERMINES HOW MUCH YOU LEARN.