Have you ever been haunted by dreams... I don't know that there is really a point to this blog but hey its mine and I can write whatever I want to right...
The last few days I have been haunted by my dreams... I wake up feeling lost and disconected. When I was little I put a lot into my dreams or rather I read a lot into my dreams. There were many times that I felt that God direclty answered my prayers in my dreams... there were other times that I would see the future in my dreams... Many people don't believe me when I say this but its true... there were times when I would dream entire days and then they would unfold exactly as they had in my dream...
Later in life I was put on anti-depressants for a short time... this completely warped my dreams... I was dreaming in all five senses. Boy was that a trip...
For the better part of my life I have had extreme cases of Deja Vu...
But none of these are what I am experincing right now. I am dreaming about long lost friends, past events, places and people and things that I have not seen or thought of in many many years. The dreams themselves are not bad, its not like bad dreams or dreams of people dieing... they just leaving me wondering. What is going on in my subconcious, or is God trying to talk to me...
Half of me wants to go back to sleep so that I can find the answers... half of me dreads the night because I am tired of dreaming the same places and people...
Over the last 6 months to a year I have been praying that God would return to me gifts that I seem to have posessed as a child but that I lost somwhere along the way... Maybe these dreams are an answer to those prayers, but the images without understanding are leaving me worried and concerned for what is coming, or what I may have already left behind.
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Be safe my friends, hold your dear ones close.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Movie moments that define who I would like to be
Maybe its the idealist in me, or the dreamer coming to light... But there are many time that movies touch me. They inspire in me those moments of greatness, moments of reflection, they are the moments that I will never forget because they are me... It is as if the writer reached inside my soul and said the words that I could have never come up with on my own...
4 come to mind but there are many more.
#1 Gene Hackman - Loose Cannons
As he sits talking to Dan Ackroyd he breaks into a moment of quoting Dylan Thomas...
Do not go gentle in that good night, rage rage against the dying of the light.
As they then sit back and howl at the night.
#2 Coach Carter - Our Deepest Fear
Although often attributed to Nelson Mandela the orginal source of this is debated. But this presentation in the movie Coach Carter is one of the most amazing dramatic presentations I have ever seen.
#3 The Never Ending Story
I often pride myself on my ability to fix things. There are no problems that I can's understand or work out a solution to. I remeber as a kid, my fascination with my dad's hands and how big and strong they are. And as a shop teacher and a father my own hands are what I use to communicate, to build, to help... A few years ago, my hands started to hurt, and I can not do many of the things that I would like as well as I would like... This movie is one of my greatest fears... what if I can't protect my family because I'm not strong enough...
and #4 last for now...
The Entire Movie - The Breakfast Club...
Because I am brain, an athelete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal. The dreamer, the realest, the idealist, the cynic...
4 come to mind but there are many more.
#1 Gene Hackman - Loose Cannons
As he sits talking to Dan Ackroyd he breaks into a moment of quoting Dylan Thomas...
Do not go gentle in that good night, rage rage against the dying of the light.
As they then sit back and howl at the night.
#2 Coach Carter - Our Deepest Fear
Although often attributed to Nelson Mandela the orginal source of this is debated. But this presentation in the movie Coach Carter is one of the most amazing dramatic presentations I have ever seen.
#3 The Never Ending Story
I often pride myself on my ability to fix things. There are no problems that I can's understand or work out a solution to. I remeber as a kid, my fascination with my dad's hands and how big and strong they are. And as a shop teacher and a father my own hands are what I use to communicate, to build, to help... A few years ago, my hands started to hurt, and I can not do many of the things that I would like as well as I would like... This movie is one of my greatest fears... what if I can't protect my family because I'm not strong enough...
and #4 last for now...
The Entire Movie - The Breakfast Club...
Because I am brain, an athelete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal. The dreamer, the realest, the idealist, the cynic...
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
A design Critque for God
I have decided I do not like God's design. After several years's of architecure grad school and plenty of time in architecture, enigineering and desing build landscape firms, plus my current experience as a design teacher I beleive that I am qualified to offer my critque of God's design...
My first comment is that I beleive most of the problem lies within the presentation. I can see where he has put in the work, there really is a lot if detail and exxcellnt design qualities to the piece. But the presentation has been left a little vague and open ended.
I think he has done a marvelous job at combing textures, colors, even scents and tastes to create a well balanced peice as a whole. But Again I would criticize the fact that he made the peice large enough that most viewers cannot see the whole picture and are often left viewing pieces that are too sharp in contrast, are extrememly out of balance, or have no visual interest whatsoever.
My second major point is that I beleive that he left too much of the piece incomplete. One can make the argument that it is project that is in progress or even that it is a living piece therefore it is always changing. But for the viewer this can often cause confusion and dissoriotnation as pieces that seemed to fit yesterday not seem out of place or contrasting to their original posisition.
My final complaint has to with how the plan plays out on an individual basis. ALthough there are major implications that the piece was designed attention and detail on even the smallest part, it is often quite difficult to break the pice apart and see what he intended for the pieces (without the overall picture, the indiviual pieces seem to loose value and serve no function) this goes back to my earlier comment that the piece is soooo large that most viewers are not able to see the piece in its entirety.
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Ok so maybe I'm not qualified to evaluate God's work. I am just so tired of not being able to see the big picture, and tell me Ohhh go read the Bible, God tells you all about it... If that's your answer you are either not listening to me or you are an idiot... What I mean by big picture ----
I am in a hole, a hole that I dug. I created this hole through a combination of greed, pride, and fighting for survival. I have (am) doing everything I can as I continue to jump through hoop afte hoop and plod through red tape after red tape... and the truth is I have done everything I can do... And you know what God is not going to fix it as least not in a "I dream of Jeanie" fashion. I am in God's hands. That is the only way I am going to get through this. BUt the how's and the when's and where's and the what's are parts of the plan that he does not always let us see... or maybe sometime's we are just standing too close to the painting...
Always dream, always hope, beleive in everything... these are where creativity lives.
My first comment is that I beleive most of the problem lies within the presentation. I can see where he has put in the work, there really is a lot if detail and exxcellnt design qualities to the piece. But the presentation has been left a little vague and open ended.
I think he has done a marvelous job at combing textures, colors, even scents and tastes to create a well balanced peice as a whole. But Again I would criticize the fact that he made the peice large enough that most viewers cannot see the whole picture and are often left viewing pieces that are too sharp in contrast, are extrememly out of balance, or have no visual interest whatsoever.
My second major point is that I beleive that he left too much of the piece incomplete. One can make the argument that it is project that is in progress or even that it is a living piece therefore it is always changing. But for the viewer this can often cause confusion and dissoriotnation as pieces that seemed to fit yesterday not seem out of place or contrasting to their original posisition.
My final complaint has to with how the plan plays out on an individual basis. ALthough there are major implications that the piece was designed attention and detail on even the smallest part, it is often quite difficult to break the pice apart and see what he intended for the pieces (without the overall picture, the indiviual pieces seem to loose value and serve no function) this goes back to my earlier comment that the piece is soooo large that most viewers are not able to see the piece in its entirety.
---
Ok so maybe I'm not qualified to evaluate God's work. I am just so tired of not being able to see the big picture, and tell me Ohhh go read the Bible, God tells you all about it... If that's your answer you are either not listening to me or you are an idiot... What I mean by big picture ----
I am in a hole, a hole that I dug. I created this hole through a combination of greed, pride, and fighting for survival. I have (am) doing everything I can as I continue to jump through hoop afte hoop and plod through red tape after red tape... and the truth is I have done everything I can do... And you know what God is not going to fix it as least not in a "I dream of Jeanie" fashion. I am in God's hands. That is the only way I am going to get through this. BUt the how's and the when's and where's and the what's are parts of the plan that he does not always let us see... or maybe sometime's we are just standing too close to the painting...
Always dream, always hope, beleive in everything... these are where creativity lives.
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