Ready to explode

I sit and I ponder and I wonder about the day,
conversations with friends that make me long to see them again,
I am trapped in this place, this moment of my life...
I am waiting to burst forth.
The energy inside me me builds,
The longer I am forced to sit andcontain it all,
Like the animals in the zoo I pace and stare and sit.
The passions deep inside surge as I long to be free...
I want to run, jump and play...

The energy keeps building as I dread the hours and moments that I am forced to hide.
I can not contain the energy building deep inside...
Every email, every text a cry to be released...
I must be fulfilled or wither away...

Spring has come and my blood has begun to boil with the new life it brings...
I am on fire inside and I can't contain it...
It bubbles over into everything I do...
And yet I feel that if I do not hold it back, it may consume me in fire...

The animal must be released or surley it will looses its savage nature...

I wonder if those animals we call pets, do they still hear the call of nature... Do they long to be free, do the smells and sights of spring excite them and make their blood boil...

Does their fate await us if sit in a cage too long.

Please set me free.....

Getting Old

The spring is gone the snap is dissapearing... my once impressive 32 inch verticle jump has dwindled to a mear 24. It could be the extra 20 pounds I am carrying, it could be the rubber bands don't pop quite like the used to... All I really know is that going up still feels amazing, I love to jump... In high school I was a 6' high jumper (should have been better, but I had horrible form) I was a twenty foot long jumper and a 40 foot tripple jumper... Not too bad for a 5'10" skinny white boy... Yes I still love to go up... I miss running the runway, I miss staring down the lane into the pit of sand... I miss the feel of gliding, coasting, sailing through the air... oh I I love to go up... but Lord does it hurt to come down...

Everytime I jump, I flinch knowing that I am going to land. My knees are shot, the cartlidge is gone, and in the stupidity of youth I still try to go up... oh how I hate to come down...

Today as I strive to maintain my strength and pride I challenge a young man twenty years younger and 4 inches taller than myself... he beat me by a good two inches, but more to the point he walked away with a smile on his face as I hid the pain that ran through my spine...

God, I love to go up!!! I can't wait for the day that I don't have to come down.

Stars or crap

The way I see it allpaths in life lead the same place.... DEATH. So the true value in life is not where we end up but rather how we get there. This is not some long blog about Christian or non Christian, Jew or Catholic. BUt rather more of a worldly post about who and what you choose to be.

For every opportunity to succeed there exists the oppotunity to fail. The only way to avoid failure is to never try - what kind of life would that be.

I love the poster - "It is better to aim for the stars and miss than to aim for a pile of crap and hit it."

The greatest thing standing in the way of aiming for the stars is that we know that more than likely we will miss, and it is very hard to predict where we will actually land when we do miss. The thing is if you aim for the pile of crap right in front of you I think we all know exactly where you're going to end up.

Now don't get me a wrong, I am not a glory hound or adrenilin junkie - out chasing every moment of glory I can find. I live a very conservative life, in many ways I think I neither aimed for the stars or the pile of crap... I often pointed my arrow skywards and hesitated to let it fly.

But I know deep down inside that I am living a life without regrets. I am not famous, I have not found glory and riches. But I have pride in who I have become, I a have an amazing wife and four beautiful children. I spend my days helping others learn and achieve. I help them to aim for more than what lies before them.

I do not pity the astronauts that have died in balls of fire, I do not pity those rock stars and actors that have watched theirs lives implode around them, I do not pity the nascar driver the hits the wall doing 224mph, I do not pity the mother that dies in child birth. Their deaths cause me saddness, but I do not pity them. I pity the person that watches their life wither away, never knowing if their dreams were the reality that were just around the corner.

I would rather die in a ball of fire, than live in an abyss of nothingness.